Thursday, February 28, 2008
Virtual Shower
If any of you read Akeeyu's blog and want to celebrate the birth of her twin girls, Boulder has organized an online shower for her and Sam. I love reading Akeeyu's blog, plus I am honored to have spent (survived?) my first 18 years as a patient of Evil Insurance Co., Inc., after being born in the EIC hospital on Seattle's Capitol Hill. Ahh, the memories.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
What Am I Doing Right?
One more outing this morning- to a friend's house with a stop for coffee (decaf) on the way home. D was incredibly well behaved, and Buddy had a bottle at the house and slept in his car seat at the coffee shop. Now they're both napping again. At the same time. Buddy slept for 5 hours straight yesterday afternoon, too. This was after I managed to take them both to the mall yesterday morning.
This can't possibly last. I even got a reasonable amount of sleep last night. Mostly because my husband has been Mr. Awesome.
I guess this is just a brief window while Buddy is this young and portable. Once his daytime sleep regularizes, we're going to be much more housebound. First he'll be taking his morning nap, and then it'll be time for D's nap, then it'll be time for Buddy's afternoon nap. This was a problem when we visited my brother and his wife and daughter back when D still took 2 naps and my niece took one. We never went anywhere. I guess I need to enjoy this while it lasts! D didn't drop to one nap a day until after her first birthday, so it's going to be a long haul. I need to enjoy my freedom now.
I'm still having problems sleeping and nightmares about D, but all else is mostly good. My hip's a little messed up, too, and my veins are still a mess from all the IVs. Tylenol is taking the edge off it all. I am so incredibly grateful to have functioning kidneys that this all pales in comparison.
D has started to walk up to buddy and say "Hey Mister Bud!" I love it.
This can't possibly last. I even got a reasonable amount of sleep last night. Mostly because my husband has been Mr. Awesome.
I guess this is just a brief window while Buddy is this young and portable. Once his daytime sleep regularizes, we're going to be much more housebound. First he'll be taking his morning nap, and then it'll be time for D's nap, then it'll be time for Buddy's afternoon nap. This was a problem when we visited my brother and his wife and daughter back when D still took 2 naps and my niece took one. We never went anywhere. I guess I need to enjoy this while it lasts! D didn't drop to one nap a day until after her first birthday, so it's going to be a long haul. I need to enjoy my freedom now.
I'm still having problems sleeping and nightmares about D, but all else is mostly good. My hip's a little messed up, too, and my veins are still a mess from all the IVs. Tylenol is taking the edge off it all. I am so incredibly grateful to have functioning kidneys that this all pales in comparison.
D has started to walk up to buddy and say "Hey Mister Bud!" I love it.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
No One's Dead Yet
So, one and a half days in on my attempt to handle solo parenting of two, and we're all still alive. I call that a success. So far we've:
gone to D's playgroup Valentine's Day party at the park.
gone to our local park and met a friend and her 2 kids.
gone to the grocery store.
That's three outings. (!) D had a minor breakdown this morning as I was attempting to unload the groceries, feed Buddy his bottle, and play with her Thomas the Trains all at the same time, so I ignored the groceries, put Buddy into his bouncy with a pacifier, and took her onto my lap and had a talk about all the things Mommy has to do, and that it's hard for everyone to wait their turn, and that I was proud of her for being so patient. She perked up enough to let me finish the feeding and unloading, and then we had some good train time. They're now both napping. (At the same time!) I don't know what to do with myself. I could be putting away the non-perishable groceries, or cleaning this kitchen-like disaster zone, or laundry, or sleeping, or eating lunch, or calling trauma therapists... but I'm checking blogs. I'm addicted.
I'm also starving. I think lunch just jumped to the top of the list.
gone to D's playgroup Valentine's Day party at the park.
gone to our local park and met a friend and her 2 kids.
gone to the grocery store.
That's three outings. (!) D had a minor breakdown this morning as I was attempting to unload the groceries, feed Buddy his bottle, and play with her Thomas the Trains all at the same time, so I ignored the groceries, put Buddy into his bouncy with a pacifier, and took her onto my lap and had a talk about all the things Mommy has to do, and that it's hard for everyone to wait their turn, and that I was proud of her for being so patient. She perked up enough to let me finish the feeding and unloading, and then we had some good train time. They're now both napping. (At the same time!) I don't know what to do with myself. I could be putting away the non-perishable groceries, or cleaning this kitchen-like disaster zone, or laundry, or sleeping, or eating lunch, or calling trauma therapists... but I'm checking blogs. I'm addicted.
I'm also starving. I think lunch just jumped to the top of the list.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Normal Life Resumes Now
Kidneys: normal. (Creatinine was 0.9, which was deemed "good enough.") Whew.
Postpartum visit to Dr. Favorite: her comment was "Wow! Normal clothes! Makeup! Combed hair! You look like a normal person!" She couldn't believe I was wearing nonmaternity jeans. I told her the anesthesiologist from the delivery and I were going to go into the bad crash diet industry and advertise in the back of Star Magazine. I am under orders to take iron supplements for a month and come back for more bloodwork, and for goodness' sake schedule an appointment with a trauma counselor already, and yes, here's some Zoloft for the PPD-- try this dose for 4 weeks and we can ramp it up if necessary. She always makes me feel so much better. I am now beginning my first days on an SSRI. Hmm.
My mother: just departed for the airport, not in the shuttle van we were expecting, but in a stretch limo (the driver said he was closest to the house???). Very stylish. I must now begin (nearly 4 weeks after the fact) doing more than the sporadic night feeding of my infant. I am nervous about how I am going to respond to the sleep deprivation. Nothing to do but plow onwards and see. I've certainly had an astounding amount of help from friends and family (especially my sainted mother) over the past 26 days. The time has come to go it alone.
Postpartum visit to Dr. Favorite: her comment was "Wow! Normal clothes! Makeup! Combed hair! You look like a normal person!" She couldn't believe I was wearing nonmaternity jeans. I told her the anesthesiologist from the delivery and I were going to go into the bad crash diet industry and advertise in the back of Star Magazine. I am under orders to take iron supplements for a month and come back for more bloodwork, and for goodness' sake schedule an appointment with a trauma counselor already, and yes, here's some Zoloft for the PPD-- try this dose for 4 weeks and we can ramp it up if necessary. She always makes me feel so much better. I am now beginning my first days on an SSRI. Hmm.
My mother: just departed for the airport, not in the shuttle van we were expecting, but in a stretch limo (the driver said he was closest to the house???). Very stylish. I must now begin (nearly 4 weeks after the fact) doing more than the sporadic night feeding of my infant. I am nervous about how I am going to respond to the sleep deprivation. Nothing to do but plow onwards and see. I've certainly had an astounding amount of help from friends and family (especially my sainted mother) over the past 26 days. The time has come to go it alone.
Monday, February 04, 2008
I can clean my own blood!
Kidneys: filtering. Dialysis catheter: removed after my chest was numbed by the largest syringe of lidocaine I have ever seen. And man, am I glad I didn't see the size of that sucker until they took it out. Next up, more bloodwork to estimate what percentage of my kidney function I have ultimately regained. If you don't mind, please cross your fingers for a creatinine level in the neighborhood of 0.8 on Thursday.
Life with two is hard. I am pretty sure I am experiencing some pretty serious postpartum depression. I have my followup with Dr. Favorite on Friday and I'm fairly certain there will be some pharmaceutical intervention at that time. My mother leaves this week, which scares the hell out of me. And my car decided this was a good time to blow out the clutch, which apparently involves removing the entire transmission to access, sticking us with a $1900 repair bill right when I'm taking an unpaid leave of absence from work.
Oh, the joy.
But, the Boy (he seems to be earning the nickname Buddy, which is totally unexpected) is healthy and fairly unfussy (although I spent from 4 to 7 AM patting him on the back as he periodically writhed in discomfort against my chest), the Girl is being less actively rude to my mother ("Grandma go away") and I seem to have survived another day. One day at a time.
Life with two is hard. I am pretty sure I am experiencing some pretty serious postpartum depression. I have my followup with Dr. Favorite on Friday and I'm fairly certain there will be some pharmaceutical intervention at that time. My mother leaves this week, which scares the hell out of me. And my car decided this was a good time to blow out the clutch, which apparently involves removing the entire transmission to access, sticking us with a $1900 repair bill right when I'm taking an unpaid leave of absence from work.
Oh, the joy.
But, the Boy (he seems to be earning the nickname Buddy, which is totally unexpected) is healthy and fairly unfussy (although I spent from 4 to 7 AM patting him on the back as he periodically writhed in discomfort against my chest), the Girl is being less actively rude to my mother ("Grandma go away") and I seem to have survived another day. One day at a time.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Who Knew?
My daughter was colicky. Four words that sum up months and months of inconsolable screaming, non-sleeping, horrible nursing hell.
This boy eats, sleeps, poops, and pees in an orderly fashion. You can put him down. Now, we still have a grandmother living with us until I'm back on my feet, but the difference in infants is already stunning. I had no idea. I just hope it persists. (Fervently.)
Bottlefeeding rocks. Guilt free, of course. No one, not even the hospital lactation consultants, can fault you when your milk never comes in due to a rare and life-threatening delivery complication. Apparently my body prioritizes attempting to heal my kidneys (currently full of dead cells) over sending milk to my breasts. And so, ANYONE can do the night feelings!! I thought I'd miss the bonding, but it turns out holding the baby and peering into his eyes while holding his bottle is every bit as good. Again, who knew?
I'm still a bit of a mess. Everything hurts. I have bruises the likes of which I didn't think possible. I can't eat and sleeping is a bit hit or miss. I burst into tears at the drop of a hat. I'm not sure how much is normal postpartum hormones and how much is post-trauma stress. Dr. Favorite has told us we're getting counseling, and I cannot disagree. How we will schedule this is in remains a mystery, but we'll have to find the time.
D is doing much better now that Mommy is home. My poor abandoned baby girl. I feel so guilty.
Renal failure is not a walk in the park. I have a persistent taste in my mouth that defies description. It's nasty. I don't want to eat, nor can I eat much on my current low potassium and low sodium diet. The silver lining is that I'm already back at my pre-pregnancy weight. I lost 56 pounds in 8 days. A lot of that was retained fluids. But still.
Next up is my followup with the nephrologist on Thursday. Please let my kidney function return.
This boy eats, sleeps, poops, and pees in an orderly fashion. You can put him down. Now, we still have a grandmother living with us until I'm back on my feet, but the difference in infants is already stunning. I had no idea. I just hope it persists. (Fervently.)
Bottlefeeding rocks. Guilt free, of course. No one, not even the hospital lactation consultants, can fault you when your milk never comes in due to a rare and life-threatening delivery complication. Apparently my body prioritizes attempting to heal my kidneys (currently full of dead cells) over sending milk to my breasts. And so, ANYONE can do the night feelings!! I thought I'd miss the bonding, but it turns out holding the baby and peering into his eyes while holding his bottle is every bit as good. Again, who knew?
I'm still a bit of a mess. Everything hurts. I have bruises the likes of which I didn't think possible. I can't eat and sleeping is a bit hit or miss. I burst into tears at the drop of a hat. I'm not sure how much is normal postpartum hormones and how much is post-trauma stress. Dr. Favorite has told us we're getting counseling, and I cannot disagree. How we will schedule this is in remains a mystery, but we'll have to find the time.
D is doing much better now that Mommy is home. My poor abandoned baby girl. I feel so guilty.
Renal failure is not a walk in the park. I have a persistent taste in my mouth that defies description. It's nasty. I don't want to eat, nor can I eat much on my current low potassium and low sodium diet. The silver lining is that I'm already back at my pre-pregnancy weight. I lost 56 pounds in 8 days. A lot of that was retained fluids. But still.
Next up is my followup with the nephrologist on Thursday. Please let my kidney function return.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Delivery
I don't know how many of you are still checking in on me, but I thought I'd throw out a quick update. More details will hopefully follow at a distant future date in which my life resumes some semblance of normalcy.
I went in for an induction at 39 weeks. All proceeded normally for about three hours until the membrane rupture brought on an extremely rare and serious complication of delivery called an amniotic fluid embolism. I am never going to google that term myself, but feel free. Anyway, thorough several very fortunate turns of luck, and a lot of extremely competent medical care, both the baby and I survived his delivery via emergency c-section. Baby boy is now thriving and was discharged from the hospital after 3 or 4 days. My memories of the last 11 days are a little hazy, but I have worked my way out of the ICU and through another week in another unit of the hospital, and am now discharged for outpatient treatment for acute renal failure. There is much reason to hope that my kidneys are currently starting to regain some normal function. I am undergoing dialysis while we wait to see what happens. But, I am home, I have a healthy baby boy, and strict instructions to never again attempt another pregnancy. I am done.
Whew.
January 14, 2008
20 inches
8 pounds, 15 ounces
I went in for an induction at 39 weeks. All proceeded normally for about three hours until the membrane rupture brought on an extremely rare and serious complication of delivery called an amniotic fluid embolism. I am never going to google that term myself, but feel free. Anyway, thorough several very fortunate turns of luck, and a lot of extremely competent medical care, both the baby and I survived his delivery via emergency c-section. Baby boy is now thriving and was discharged from the hospital after 3 or 4 days. My memories of the last 11 days are a little hazy, but I have worked my way out of the ICU and through another week in another unit of the hospital, and am now discharged for outpatient treatment for acute renal failure. There is much reason to hope that my kidneys are currently starting to regain some normal function. I am undergoing dialysis while we wait to see what happens. But, I am home, I have a healthy baby boy, and strict instructions to never again attempt another pregnancy. I am done.
Whew.
January 14, 2008
20 inches
8 pounds, 15 ounces
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