Friday, September 15, 2006

Sibling creation

Well, here we go. I have been following several blogs on this site written by pregnant women on bedrest due to a number of different pregnancy complications. I'm interested in their stories since my last pregnancy, which resulted in my beautiful baby daughter, did not go as smoothly as it might have. I spent all of the summer of 2005 in the hospital, drugged to the eyeballs, hooked up to a fetal monitor three times a day, wondering each time if this was going to be the hour where they wheeled me back down to labor and delivery. Fortunately for all of us, our story ended well and our little girl was only born about a month early instead of at 24 weeks. She's just fine these days. She's perfect. She's about to turn one.

Which brings me to the point. Those of you with children will recognize the dilemma. There comes a day when you look at your baby and realize that they're not really a baby anymore. Somehow, when you weren't paying attention, they transformed into a toddler. And your comfortable idea that you don't even need to think about having another child until the first one is no longer a baby suddenly becomes all-consuming. Should we try again? When? How bad is it to have an only child? Will she grow up self-centered and bossy? And, more particular to our situation, will my uterus be able to do its job properly this time? Will I spend months in bed at home, or even back in the hospital? How will we survive without my income (again)? Will I not be able to see my daughter every day for all those months? Or, even worse, will we have the same problem again but with the opposite outcome? What if we lose the baby? What if they're able to save her (him?), but then the new baby has some or all of the health problems associated with prematurity that were so terrifyingly explained to us the last time we tried to get my uterus to hold a baby?

I have no idea what the answers to any of these questions might be. I guess we're going to find out.

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