Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Happy Fourth!!

I meant to post yesterday after my first OB appointment, but I was just too grouchy. It went fine, in terms of the fetus (it's now a fetus!!!)-- measuring right on, wiggly as a worm, good heartbeat. BUT, what a colossal pain in the ass. I left my house at 11:40 AM and got home at a quarter to six. A little long for a doctor's appointment, don't you think? I'd forgotten how long appointments at my OB's office can take. Ugh. I shall break it down for you:

11:40 AM: depart for day care lady's house.

12:00 PM: drop D off so I can pay $40 for her to nap nearly the whole time I'm gone.

12:01 PM: reflect that I ought to go into the daycare business.

12:02 PM: remember the 6 years I spent getting my PhD and ponder what being in your house all day with 4 small children must be like.

12:03 PM: decide things are just fine the way they are.

12:30 PM: after driving a total of about 30 miles from house, arrive at chinese restaurant where meeting H for lunch before appointment.

12:31: restaurant closed for fourth of July.

1:15 PM: finish lunch at restaurant next door and head to doctor's office up the street. Doubt husband's navigational abilities only to be proven wrong. (I hate that.)

1:30 PM: emerge from depths of parking garage to arrive on time for 1:30 appointment.

1:30-2:00 PM: sit in waiting room.

2:00 PM: escorted back for weight and blood pressure check after having given urine sample (first of the day).

2:01 PM: assistant doesn't know how to use scale properly, or else I magically lost 20 pounds since yesterday. Ponder speaking up and decide to let it go and see how they react next time when they think I've gained 25 pounds in three weeks.

2:05 PM: finish disrobing and sit on exam table in inadequate paper vest and paper square for covering bottom half.

2:05 PM to eternity: remain on exam table as bladder slowly refills.

2:45-ish: nurse practitioner comes in with inch-thick chart, which she has clearly been browsing through. Nurse practitioner immediately disappears to fetch medical records I brought from RE and gave to receptionist.

2:50- 3:00 PM-ish: have lovely conversation with nurse practitioner regarding history of preterm labor. Decide will do what perinatologist recommended, which is transvaginal ultrasounds every 2 weeks starting at 16 weeks to look for a shortening cervix or evidence of funnelling. Discover must go back to perinatologist and pay out-of-pocket for nuchal translucency screen since I'm under 35 and they don't do them in the OB office anyway. Get lab slip for OB blood panel and thyroid hormone levels. Have exam, swabs, etc.

3:00 PM: nurse practitioner departs and says doctor will be right in for ultrasound.

3:05 PM: ponder emptying bladder before ultrasound.

3:05:15 PM: doctor comes in. This is the new one since I had D, who we've never met. Plans of reunion with Dr. Favorite fade.

3:06 PM: doctor fails to get clear ultrasound shot of fetus since fetus is being cruelly squashed by increasingly full bladder. Doctor claims has never had to ask a patient to empty bladder to get good picture. Doctor applies increasing pressure with wand against full bladder. Doctor chides me for allowing bladder to get so full and irritate already well-known-irritable uterus.

3:07 PM: doctor becomes apologetic after I testily remark that bladder was completely empty when I was first escorted into exam room about an hour ago.

3:10 PM: doctor mercifully asks me to go empty bladder.

3:13 PM: doctor gets a quick grainy ultrasound picture and measurement of fetus and immediately vanishes.

3:15 PM: H and I make another appointment for July 30th and gratefully leave the office.

3:15 - 4:00 PM: I fight early rush-hour traffic to do what should have been a 20 minute drive to pick up D.

4:00 PM: take D across street to lab and give 8 or 9 gallons of blood for lab work. Experience first attempt to provide clean catch urine sample (second of day) while juggling a 21-month-old.

4:30 PM: sit in traffic jam due to terrible car accident at intersection on way home.

4:55 PM: emerge from traffic jam and drop off prescription.

5:25 PM: emerge victorious from pharmacy with barely intact sanity.

5:25:15 PM: start car and gas light comes on. Groan and slap forehead.

5:35 PM: arrive at nearest gas station and fill up car.

5:45 PM: arrive home with 45 minutes to spare before need to leave for work and give 2.5 hour review session to lab students.

You can perhaps see why I did not, in the end, post yesterday. Having slept somewhat of a full night (my class doesn't end until 10:15 and it's a fair distance away) I am feeling somewhat more refreshed today. But, I do not want to have to repeat this experience every 2 weeks. What to do? I love the doctors at this practice, and they were great during the chaotic disaster that was my pregnancy with D. Plus, they deliver at the hospital with the best NICU for micropreemies and the special unit for bedresting pregnant ladies. We used to live much closer to their office, but we moved out here to Siberia right after D was born and I don't want to switch to someone local. If I did, and we had more preterm labor fun and this baby was delivered early, the hospital up here would send the baby in an ambulance down to the hospital this practice delivers at anyway, leaving me stranded in the Siberian hospital and far away from my terribly sick child. I think I'm just going to have to deal with the distance and leave things as they are.

Sigh. Off to decorate my flag cake. Firework fun tonight!! I hope D doesn't panic.


Geohde said...

It all sounds like such a fun day that I don't know where to begin.

Wait, yes I do.

Next time pee when they're stupid enough to squash a pregnant lady's full bladder. Serves 'em right.

Spanglish said...

geohde is one smart cookie. I bet you wanted to kick that doctor in the face when he chided you for having a full bladder. What a hellish day!!

May your future OB appointments be much easier.

electriclady said...

I would have peed on the doctor. (No, not really. I would have thought about it and wished I had.)

May said...

Oh, you people really do cheer me up.

Ann said...

Hi May, thanks for your thoughtful comment on my blog. I love your "waiting in line" analogy. I think that's why we started TTC so soon after getting married--I wanted to mark my place in line. The hard part is not having any way of knowing how far from the front you are!

ggop said...

Came over from a beautiful comment you left on Ann's blog on waiting in line..

I love that you are able to summarize your travails with a sense of humor.